There's More to Living Than Kelly Green

KELLY GREEN.

I recently spotted an online "Social Attitudes Test" (click here to link to the test) posted on facebook by an acquaintaince. It purported to measure one's radicalism, socialism, and tenderness based on 30-or-so questions. A few people I know had already taken the test and felt it summed them up fairly well.

I've always thought of myself as considerably left of center in my social and political opinions. Out of curiosity, I took the test. Here are the results:

Political Values

Radicalism 99.5
Socialism 87.5
Tenderness 56.25

"These scores indicate that you are a progressive; this is the political profile one might associate with a university professor. It appears that you are skeptical towards religion, and have a pragmatic attitude towards humanity in general.

"Your attitudes towards economics appear communist, and combined with your social attitudes this creates the picture of someone who would generally be described as left-wing.

"To round out the picture you appear to be, political preference aside, an egalitarian with primarily strong opinions."

Well! I was shocked by the radicalism score of 99.5. When we lived in San Francisco and worked across the bay at UC Berkeley, the City of Berkeley installed parking meters along a busy commercial street. A group of activist citizens went through with a chain saw, cut the tops off the parking meters and planted flowers in the hollows. Although I found their action artful, I also found it highly inappropriate, expensive, and infuriating. I would think that drops me much more than half a percentage point from the pinnacle of radicalism. In Berkeley, I often felt like a conservative. (Gasp!)

Socialism at 87.5? Well, my capitalist friends (and my socialist friends, too), that's probably not far off.

Tenderness, 56.25? That disappointed me. I think sometimes I might be at 99 or even 100. But, admittedly, at other times I could likely be as low as 30... So, maybe true. Still, I don't know how I feel about that. Perhaps it means that, although I'm tender (more than half way to the top, after all), my rational mind is in charge. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit.

I'D LIKE TO SEE HER ALONGSIDE KELLY GREEN.

THE BEST KIND OF CLOTHES FOR A PROTEST POSE?

Communist? Well, the results simply say that my "atttitudes towards economics appear communist" — only my economics. And "appear" being the operative word. But that's as political as I'm going to get because, believe it or not, that isn't even the point of this post.

A FASHION MANIFESTO.

Win the Revolution with Style
Oddly, what made me think of this was the man I saw on the street the other morning wearing kelly green. That made me think of a song in the musical "Grey Gardens" in which the words "There's more to living than kelly green" are sung. And, since that song is called "The Revolutionary Costume for Today," that made me think of my own supposed radicalism and how, while living in Boston, I gave the preppy look a shot (L.L.Bean, but never kelly green) and I was like a fish out of water. I could never pass for a preppy. I then took a walk over to the Saturday flea market at the Fair Grounds, where I was pleased to see strolling and for sale a lot more than kelly green. And that left me singing the song for the rest of the day. If you watch the video, this post and the photos will all make sense... I hope.

Da da da da dum...