Antonio, Banderas Rojas

ANTHONY FLAGS.

Did you know that "banderas" is Spanish for "flags"?

So, if Antonio Banderas were to Anglicize his name, he would be Anthony Flags.

Not quite so attractive anymore, is he? (Well, OK. Maybe Antonio Banderas, by any other name, would still smell as sweet.)

Red flags (banderas rojas) have been flying along the beach for several days now. The lifeguards hoist the colored flags every morning during season. Green means the sea is calm and safe for swimming. Red means stay out of the water. There's also yellow (caution) and I think there's another flag that means conditions are so unsafe lifeguards aren't even on duty (I've never seen that one). The Mediterranean Sea tends to be very calm. When the sea is rough, it still doesn't look anything like the Atlantic or Pacific Oceans. But looks are deceiving. The riptide and under-toe are surprisingly powerful and unpredictable. I respect those flags and I respect the lifeguards. I've been surprised by the number of people in the water on these red-flag days. Life guards had been patrolling the beach but, for some reason (perhaps not wanting to upset the tourists), they hadn't been doing much policing of the swimmers. Until this afternoon.

ROUGH SURF TODAY AT SUNRISE. (CLICK TO SEE BIGGER WAVES.)

San Geraldo was out on the terrace watering plants when we suddenly heard whistles blowing insistently. He looked to the beach and saw lifeguards running from all directions. They dove in and began swimming to what looked like a body sporadically bobbing to the surface. Two of the lifeguards reached the body and they all began to swim back in. Minutes later, an ambulance arrived. A lifeguard on a jet-ski zoomed in and circled the group in the water, and then waved "safe" (like in American baseball) to the EMTs and other lifeguards on the beach. All was well. Apparently, the swimmer didn't even need medical assistance, just help getting back to shore.

BEFORE THE LIFEGUARDS REACHED THE SWIMMER (CIRCLED).
(CLICK TO ENLARGE.)

RED FLAG. STAY OUT OF THE WATER!
(CLICK TO ENLARGE.)

THE RESCUE.

A short time later, I headed down to the beach to enjoy the sun. I figured I could at least put my feet in the water. The same guards who had just risked their lives for someone who didn't follow the safety rules were back on the beach watching the water. People were allowed to wade, but there was no swimming permitted. Three bozos headed into the water, swam out, and pretended to be drowning. One of those lifeguards returned from her post further down the beach and signaled to the three to get out of the water. The way she handled them was a joy to behold.

AFTER THE RESCUE, THESE "FUNNY" GUYS PRETENDED TO BE IN TROUBLE.
(THE SURF WAS MUCH MORE AGITATED THAN IT APPEARS HERE.)

THIS LIFEGUARD, HAVING BEEN PART OF THE RESCUE, DIDN'T FIND IT FUNNY.

SHE EXPLAINED THE RED FLAG, TOLD THEM IT WAS NO JOKE.
AND THEN TOLD THEM TO GO SIT DOWN.

Back to Antonio
I think one of the guys was named Antonio, because I'm pretty sure I heard the lifeguard say as he came out of the water, "Antonio, banderas rojas!"

Read More

The Difference Between Eggplant and Snot

Q: What's the difference between eggplant and snot?
A: Kids will eat their snot.

I can't believe I just told that awful joke. It's completely out of character for me. Really. San Geraldo, I'm sure, will be in shock (not because it bothers him, but because he won't be able to believe I told it). Of course, there's always the possibility San Geraldo won't even get the joke.

And that opening will certainly make the rest of this post (on eggplant) so much less appetizing. Sorry. But sometimes the inner child just screams and screams until I let him out. (He's never gotten quite this far.)

San Geraldo prepared eggplant last night that, yes, even kids would like. He found the recipe, Poor Man's Steak, online at eatingwell.com. We both think it's the best eggplant dish we've ever had. We had some leftovers with our lunch salad this afternoon. Delicious cold a day later, too. If you're interested in the recipe, click here.

IN VERY GOOD TASTE.

Since the opening joke was so disgusting, I had considered using instead another eggplant joke I know.

Q: What water produces the best eggplant?
A: Perspiration.

See why I chose disgusting?

Read More

Never Trust A Skinny Chef

San Geraldo is getting back into fighting trim. I really admire his determination and commitment. He joined a local group and has been doing phenomenally well, and we've been eating even better (and more) than before. I've spent a good part of my life looking undernourished no matter how much I eat. So, to avoid looking undernourished again, in addition to eating healthy with San Geraldo, I supplement with goodies (chocolate-dipped rice crackers, protein bars, cheese and crackers, Bailey's Irish Cream). One of these days I'm going to sneak out for some churros and chocolate. Just don't tell San Geraldo. (But, really, he doesn't mind at all... or so he tells me.)

In addition to a great eating plan, the group San Geraldo joined shares recipes, which means he's been inspired to be even more creative in the kitchen. We eat at home often now and he orders differently when we're out. Last night's dinner at home of chicken (sorry my vegetarian friends) in a spiced mushroom sauce, and vegetables on the side, was unbelievable. The group leader is Scottish. (She speaks slowly for San Geraldo or a Londoner translates for him.) Since the recipes aren't described in American terms, they're sometimes as confusing for San Geraldo as Spanish recipes, but he manages... and manages well. I've included the spiced mushroom sauce recipe below. (But, understand, I simply copied it; I have no idea what it means.)

CHICKEN COVERED IN SPICED MUSHROOM SAUCE.
(YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE THE OTHER STUFF ON THE PLATE)

Spiced Mushroom Sauce

• Fry Light cooking spray
• 1 finely chopped onion
• 1 red chili, deseeded and finely chopped
• 1 tsp each minced garlic and ginger
• 1 bay leaf, 1 tsp ground coriander
• 1/2 tsp mixed peppercorns, coarsely ground
• 1/4 tsp turmeric
• 200g close cup mushrooms, sliced
• 145 ml chicken stock (Bovril)
• 4 tbsp quark cheese*
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• Small handful of freshly chopped coriander to garnish

1. Spray a pan with Fry Light and fry the onion, chili, garlic, ginger, bay leaf, peppercorns, ground coriander, and turmeric for 5 minutes. (Add a little water if sticking.)
2. Stir in the mushrooms, stock, and bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes until thickish consistency.
3. Take the pot off the boil and stir in the quark cheese. Season to taste and scatter with chopped coriander. Serve immediately.

*Very low-fat fromage frais can be used instead of quark cheese.

Not to be outdone, I 've been refining my culinary skills. I've recently been spotted pouring my hot coffee over ice at Cafe Manila ... without assistance. And I made my own gourmet "Papaya Breakfast Bowl" the other morning. Half a papaya, Greek yogurt, and corn flakes (I was out of muesli).

Well, San Geraldo cut the papaya and scooped out the seeds. But I spooned in the yogurt and corn flakes all by myself. Brilliant.

SO BEAUTIFUL IT WAS A SHAME TO EAT.

Read More

There's More to Living Than Kelly Green

KELLY GREEN.

I recently spotted an online "Social Attitudes Test" (click here to link to the test) posted on facebook by an acquaintaince. It purported to measure one's radicalism, socialism, and tenderness based on 30-or-so questions. A few people I know had already taken the test and felt it summed them up fairly well.

I've always thought of myself as considerably left of center in my social and political opinions. Out of curiosity, I took the test. Here are the results:

Political Values

Radicalism 99.5
Socialism 87.5
Tenderness 56.25

"These scores indicate that you are a progressive; this is the political profile one might associate with a university professor. It appears that you are skeptical towards religion, and have a pragmatic attitude towards humanity in general.

"Your attitudes towards economics appear communist, and combined with your social attitudes this creates the picture of someone who would generally be described as left-wing.

"To round out the picture you appear to be, political preference aside, an egalitarian with primarily strong opinions."

Well! I was shocked by the radicalism score of 99.5. When we lived in San Francisco and worked across the bay at UC Berkeley, the City of Berkeley installed parking meters along a busy commercial street. A group of activist citizens went through with a chain saw, cut the tops off the parking meters and planted flowers in the hollows. Although I found their action artful, I also found it highly inappropriate, expensive, and infuriating. I would think that drops me much more than half a percentage point from the pinnacle of radicalism. In Berkeley, I often felt like a conservative. (Gasp!)

Socialism at 87.5? Well, my capitalist friends (and my socialist friends, too), that's probably not far off.

Tenderness, 56.25? That disappointed me. I think sometimes I might be at 99 or even 100. But, admittedly, at other times I could likely be as low as 30... So, maybe true. Still, I don't know how I feel about that. Perhaps it means that, although I'm tender (more than half way to the top, after all), my rational mind is in charge. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit.

I'D LIKE TO SEE HER ALONGSIDE KELLY GREEN.

THE BEST KIND OF CLOTHES FOR A PROTEST POSE?

Communist? Well, the results simply say that my "atttitudes towards economics appear communist" — only my economics. And "appear" being the operative word. But that's as political as I'm going to get because, believe it or not, that isn't even the point of this post.

A FASHION MANIFESTO.

Win the Revolution with Style
Oddly, what made me think of this was the man I saw on the street the other morning wearing kelly green. That made me think of a song in the musical "Grey Gardens" in which the words "There's more to living than kelly green" are sung. And, since that song is called "The Revolutionary Costume for Today," that made me think of my own supposed radicalism and how, while living in Boston, I gave the preppy look a shot (L.L.Bean, but never kelly green) and I was like a fish out of water. I could never pass for a preppy. I then took a walk over to the Saturday flea market at the Fair Grounds, where I was pleased to see strolling and for sale a lot more than kelly green. And that left me singing the song for the rest of the day. If you watch the video, this post and the photos will all make sense... I hope.

Da da da da dum...

Read More